A list of failures
On days I feel like writing but have nothing to write about, I take a random idea I jotted down long ago (maybe even years ago) and roll with it. Here's the idea I'm rolling with today:
I'm surrounded by people who feel like failures. The reasons they feel like failures is a wide spectrum of every day life. Failing at staying in shape, at making enough money, at savingenough money. Failing at finding a mate, at quitting a bad job, at being disciplined. Failing at growing out of a parents' shadow. Failing at getting up early in the morning. Failing at going to bed early at night. Failing at anything and everything you could imagine.
I'm no stranger to this state of mind. For example, at this very moment, my conscious has been ripping me on and off for my decision to have dessert two days in a row. (Should I have done it? Probably not, but holy apple pie did it feel good.) And there are, of course, other reasons I may or may not feel like a failure, much less fun than dessert.
I'm not a fan of this "I'm a failure" feeling. It sucks. It's the kind of feeling that stings in my belly as I toss and turn in bed at night. And you know what? I like to sleep.
But there's this thing I do to stop the "I'm a failure" feeling in its tracks. I don't always remember to do this, but when I do, it's awesome. I'm going to do it again now because, yes, goodbye failures. Here goes, in consequential order:
Things I've Failed At
- Estranging myself from my family for a bit during my teenage years
- Letting loneliness get the best of me in Madrid
- Not trusting myself enough to start my business on my own
- Allowing a work conflict get out of hand
That list? Not that long. That list? Not that scary. That list? Doesn't include half the things I considered "failures" at one point or another.
All that day-to-day stuff that bogs me down, that makes me feel like a failure? It's trash. I've got to remember to throw it out.
I'm surrounded by people who feel like failures. If they sat down to make a list of their failures, I wonder how long it'd be. Probably not as long as they think.